ABANYALA BA KAKAMEGA
Indigenous knowledge on brideswealth payment.
Among the Abanyala ba Kakamega, a married woman was never considered officially married if no brideswealth or bride prize had been paid. Brides wealth and a ceremony of echio were the signs a marriage has been formalized. It was alway put across that 'she becomes yours after dowry payment: oyu wakhwa nche owuwo.'
However, in disputes involving wife snatching, it was the ceremony of echio that was the equivalent of a marriage certificate. Once the above had been done, she becomes a great asset for the commuity and was refered to as esirongo sia nawutube (salt-soil-lick for all)- one who could perform a traditional function for a mixed group of commuity members. No other man could remarry such a woman and pay dowry again. A woman whose dowry had not been paid, at times who was given out as a gift to create peace among clans, was called omukhasi wa embo-sii.
The following terms are vital in marriage payments
Dowry was never thought of in terms of being an act of buying the lady. No- her blood-clan members still owned the woman's 'head' and 'blood.' In fact, upon the death of any wife, the busband pays eng'ombe ya omuchwe (the cow-of-the-head) to be allowed to bury a non clan member. Even if dowry had been paid, she still had her people to run back to- if things went wrong in her marriage.
Brideswealth was done for the reasons coded into the names of the various cattle given out. Each head of cattle 'spoke out' its role. However, these roles can be summarised as below:
Among the Abanyala (K), the ekhwe, brideswealth was not paid at once to completion. Abanyala believed that dowry payment was a process that took the first few years of marriage and not a one day event as captured in the adage that: "One can never finish paying dowry; 'ekhwe si yiwechanga ta.' This peace-meal paymemt helped the in-laws to have reason to visit their Mukhwasi. Dowry payment was a community affair.
3. What constituted dowry?
Dowry was basically made of cattle and goats. Abanyala never paid animal with downward facing horns called makombe, cattle with no signs of horns (kumo), pregnant cow, a cattle the colour of a hyena, cow which has gone beyond menopause, a bull that has started okhukhumula and a sheep. Such animals were used in other ceremonies that dealt with blocking evil.
The bridewhealth animals had to be a mixture of males and females but the number of the males outnumbered the females. Apart from these, there were other items that were mandatory during dowry paument for specific people based on their roles. To add on this, one was free to give more gift items called amaecho.
4. Whose duty was it to pay dowry?
Traditionally, it was the role of ones father to pay dowry for the first wife. It was believed that as a youth, the boy worked to increase the father's wealth.
However, this changed when fathers started spending to educate their sons. They sold the animals to take the son to school and said, "I cannot educate you then pay dowry for you." Therefore, the children being educated became their cattle and their farms. It is from the child that that dowry must come.
This has made wise children to buy the animals and pay. Indeed, they say the parents cannot invest in them then they go back to ask for dowry. A parent who is well of will alway give one or two cattles to the son as tree starting stock.
5. Dowry negotiation
Negotiations took place before marriage. However, in the unfortunate event of the boy opting for other forms of marriage apart from esiserero, then negotiations took place during the early time of their coming together. Surprisingly, once it was reported that the girl was pregnant then any negotiations had to be stopped.
Negotiations ware male only affair.
In case no dowry negotiations have been done for the eldest ma married boy or sister in the family, then no sitting to discuss dowry can be done for the younger sibling. It was said that the effect was okhukhalaka omukongo. However, the dowry could still be paid as per the custom- anything more out of the stipulated number could be duscussed later.
During discussion, it was cultural for the girl's relative to praise the girl's virtues and achievements. However, these praises never translated into an extra cow or extra payment.
Upon agreement, sticks were used to keep records of dowry paid and to keep track of payment. The bandle was safely stored.
6. Pay at once or in stages?
Some heads of cattle were paid at once to famalize the marriage and others came in in stages within few years that followed the marriage.
Once some part of the dowry is paid, the lady transformed from being omukhana (the betrothed) to omweya. Once most of it is paid such that the woman can participate in communial activities, then she became omukhasi- one who can add water to bear being taken by clan elders- okhukhasa. Once most of the dowry is complete and she is of good moral standing, she became omukhaye.
Due to change in living style and greed, most people now demand the paying of the dowry to be done once. However, elders advise that paying everything at ago spelled doom or bad omen to the the family and shows there was a hidden agenda behind the hurry to clear the dowry. Even boys from well to do families had to leave payment incomplete.
Nowadays, it is unfortunate that modernity and greed have turned dowry negotiations into some form of huggling- which was not the case during the days of our forefathers. Parents are looking at daughters as investments whose dividents and shares have to be fully withdrown via dowry. It is worth noting that no matter how poor somebody was; dowry was predetermined and no haggling took place. Only those who are able yo raise extra heads increased the number without being forced to do so.
7. Major animals for the dowry and their explanation.
The fact that the number of cattle was thirteen does not mean the girl was being bought or sold off. The main animals were six since the others came back through various cultural paractices. That is they said that dowry came with responsibilities as put in the adage echia omukoko olia naye akhu eyikina. For example, if you never paid a cow for the brothers to the wife, then they can refuse to give your son ekhoni or esikamo.
If any payment was made out of the above then they were termed as amaecho. For example, we have men who paid dowry and then added the same number of cattle as those paid as dowry.
9. Those to take the dowry to the home of the girl
They have to come back with the ropes and a chicken. Left handed and those annointed (with omukasa) were not given this responsibility. Also, those born as twins were never given the lead role in dowry negotiation issues. Furthermore, always ensured a child is part of the group to act as future evidance library of the payment.
10. Dowry for nasikoko
A lady who has given birth before getting married, nasikoko, received dowry in two ways. One, from the man who sired the first child and then; secondaly, upon her getting married to the same man or elsewhere. For a girl child, the parents received two head cattle. For a boy child, the parents received three heads of cattle. If the girl gave birth to identical twins, they were counted as one. However, if the twins were a boy and a girl, then he paid five heads which were counted as three. That is why twins were feared out of wedlock.
Upon getting married, the dowry that was paid was less by the same number indicated above which were given by the first 'husband.' For a boy child at home, three cattles were removed from the expected ones. For a girl child, two were removed. For fraternal twins, only three were removed.
10. Dowry for the second wife
The first wife held a special place in the community. Due to this, some of the heads of cattle used to pay dowry came from the father to the boy. However, any attempt to marry a second wife was met with payment made by the man himself without any other person's input.
11. Dowry for a woman who dies at her husband's home before dowry is paid.
The following six animals were paid:
12. Death of husband before paymenyt of dowry
In such unfortunate event, the children completed the dowry payment on behalf of their father- through their paternal uncle. The first born was the one given this responsibility to do it through the patternal uncles. That is why first borns always received a larger share of the father's wealth upon death of their father.
In case, no part of the dowry is paid before burial of husband, then the girl went away at the time they start covering the grave. In case this happens, no attempts are made to stop her.
13. Death of an animal paid as dowry
If an animal paid as part of dowry died immediately after arriving or within few days of arrival, then the people who paid the dowry were informed, the meat was eaten and the skin taken to the in-laws who planned to make a replacement of the cattle.
14. Death of second or third wife who went away without dowry payment
In the event that a wife gets married, gives birth to a child, and goes back to their home where she is burried, then dowry payment is similar to child born out of wedlock. The child born from such woman cannot pay dowry or be paid for dowry untill that of the mother is paid.
15. Other dowry related payments
In case of unfortunate circustances provided for by the culture of the people, the dowry was taken back in a ceremonial process called okhuwolola. The heads of cattles given back was usually less by the number of cattles paid as dowry that have served the purose by the time of divorce and usually a maximum of the six out of the thirteen. This untied the woman to make her free to remarry. However, there was no room for okhuwolola once the ceremony of echo has been done.
The clan of the girl was to be involved in getting the animals back. Thus, the parents to the girl could not just start of the process of taking back the dowry.
17. Payment associated with immorality while in marriage.
It was a taboo for a woman to have conjugal duties outside marriage. This phenomenon, which applied to women only, was called okhulia embeba (eating a rat). A woman who had eaten a rat, Nambeba, could not: nurse a sick husband, take water to the bathroom for the husband, move to the graveside of the husband, cry near the husbands dead body (okhuwunya khu munwa), sweep in the main prayer house called namuima and carry the meat basket that is left at the place they have slaughtered a cattle in honour of the husband's funeral rites. It lead to death.
In case of the above, the man involved in the immorality was compelled to pay a young bull which was slaughtered and its meat eaten by the clan of the owner of the wife. It was called eng'ombe ya esirukhi which was never to be domesticated or to mix with others. Neighbours around, wh have never done the same act which another's wife, could also roast and eat. Nobody carried its meat back home.
If the immorality that lead to the payment was done to make the act worth being termed as oluswa, the woman lost the rights to officially burry the husband incase she was the first wife.
18. Taboos related to dowry among Abanyala K
However, in disputes involving wife snatching, it was the ceremony of echio that was the equivalent of a marriage certificate. Once the above had been done, she becomes a great asset for the commuity and was refered to as esirongo sia nawutube (salt-soil-lick for all)- one who could perform a traditional function for a mixed group of commuity members. No other man could remarry such a woman and pay dowry again. A woman whose dowry had not been paid, at times who was given out as a gift to create peace among clans, was called omukhasi wa embo-sii.
The following terms are vital in marriage payments
- Amaecho- presents given to the girl, the perents or relatives to the girl as a sign of good will and love for them. They are not part of dowry.
- Ebiteberesio- any presents similar to amaecho but given as part of the dowry or dowry promises. They can be pieces of clothing such as echabe.
- Ekhwe- specific culturally defined number of animals that formed dowry.
Dowry was never thought of in terms of being an act of buying the lady. No- her blood-clan members still owned the woman's 'head' and 'blood.' In fact, upon the death of any wife, the busband pays eng'ombe ya omuchwe (the cow-of-the-head) to be allowed to bury a non clan member. Even if dowry had been paid, she still had her people to run back to- if things went wrong in her marriage.
Brideswealth was done for the reasons coded into the names of the various cattle given out. Each head of cattle 'spoke out' its role. However, these roles can be summarised as below:
- An appreciation to the family as enshrined in the bride prize negotiation adage: Onula omwana engeso; amuweresa olusala (If you take away a scythe from a child; replace with a stick.) The clan, the uncles, the father, the mother, the aunts, the brothers and the grandmother were supposed to be appreciated. They were going to miss the services of the bride.
- It legalized marriage. That upon payment of the first batch of the dowry, the clan put esikhaba on the woman. Esikhaba was the equivalent of a wedding ring. If this had not been done, then- upon the death of the wife, she was burried at her maternal home and/or the boy forced to pay dowry. At times the boy paid before being allowed to burry. It was a taboo to allow ones wife be burried elsewhere because of lack of dowry. Therefore, a man always hurried to pay dowry before such eventualities. It is dowry that signalled that one is married and not the modern day mariage certificates.
- To show love for the wife- there was a specific cow called eng'ombe ya olukoosi which was a token of love and appreciation to the girl by the father-in-law and the husband. It was paid after a girl doing what is called okhwema esianyi.
- It helped the family to prepare for tp pertake other traditional functions. For example, the uncles could now give ekhoni to their sister's child. Also, it enhanced the status of the couple in the community.
- It strengthened the inter clan relationships- since dowry was not paid at once, this kept the in-laws in constant communication and good terms.
Among the Abanyala (K), the ekhwe, brideswealth was not paid at once to completion. Abanyala believed that dowry payment was a process that took the first few years of marriage and not a one day event as captured in the adage that: "One can never finish paying dowry; 'ekhwe si yiwechanga ta.' This peace-meal paymemt helped the in-laws to have reason to visit their Mukhwasi. Dowry payment was a community affair.
Before the re-start of circumcision during the rule of Mukhamba, it was said that the number of cows were six. However, some more cultural practices came in that necessitated part of the dowry being paid to go back to those who paid it. This lead to the number being increased. This was to take care of the following back-payments:
- Ekhoni for the first born boy
- Ekhoni for the last born boy
- Esikamo for the boys
- Ey'amuliano also called ey'asemwana- given to brothets to girl's father.
- Ey'echo.
- Omwoulo
3. What constituted dowry?
Dowry was basically made of cattle and goats. Abanyala never paid animal with downward facing horns called makombe, cattle with no signs of horns (kumo), pregnant cow, a cattle the colour of a hyena, cow which has gone beyond menopause, a bull that has started okhukhumula and a sheep. Such animals were used in other ceremonies that dealt with blocking evil.
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| Makombe |
4. Whose duty was it to pay dowry?
Traditionally, it was the role of ones father to pay dowry for the first wife. It was believed that as a youth, the boy worked to increase the father's wealth.
However, this changed when fathers started spending to educate their sons. They sold the animals to take the son to school and said, "I cannot educate you then pay dowry for you." Therefore, the children being educated became their cattle and their farms. It is from the child that that dowry must come.
This has made wise children to buy the animals and pay. Indeed, they say the parents cannot invest in them then they go back to ask for dowry. A parent who is well of will alway give one or two cattles to the son as tree starting stock.
5. Dowry negotiation
Negotiations took place before marriage. However, in the unfortunate event of the boy opting for other forms of marriage apart from esiserero, then negotiations took place during the early time of their coming together. Surprisingly, once it was reported that the girl was pregnant then any negotiations had to be stopped.
Negotiations ware male only affair.
In case no dowry negotiations have been done for the eldest ma married boy or sister in the family, then no sitting to discuss dowry can be done for the younger sibling. It was said that the effect was okhukhalaka omukongo. However, the dowry could still be paid as per the custom- anything more out of the stipulated number could be duscussed later.
During discussion, it was cultural for the girl's relative to praise the girl's virtues and achievements. However, these praises never translated into an extra cow or extra payment.
Upon agreement, sticks were used to keep records of dowry paid and to keep track of payment. The bandle was safely stored.
6. Pay at once or in stages?
Some heads of cattle were paid at once to famalize the marriage and others came in in stages within few years that followed the marriage.
Once some part of the dowry is paid, the lady transformed from being omukhana (the betrothed) to omweya. Once most of it is paid such that the woman can participate in communial activities, then she became omukhasi- one who can add water to bear being taken by clan elders- okhukhasa. Once most of the dowry is complete and she is of good moral standing, she became omukhaye.
Due to change in living style and greed, most people now demand the paying of the dowry to be done once. However, elders advise that paying everything at ago spelled doom or bad omen to the the family and shows there was a hidden agenda behind the hurry to clear the dowry. Even boys from well to do families had to leave payment incomplete.
Nowadays, it is unfortunate that modernity and greed have turned dowry negotiations into some form of huggling- which was not the case during the days of our forefathers. Parents are looking at daughters as investments whose dividents and shares have to be fully withdrown via dowry. It is worth noting that no matter how poor somebody was; dowry was predetermined and no haggling took place. Only those who are able yo raise extra heads increased the number without being forced to do so.
7. Major animals for the dowry and their explanation.
The fact that the number of cattle was thirteen does not mean the girl was being bought or sold off. The main animals were six since the others came back through various cultural paractices. That is they said that dowry came with responsibilities as put in the adage echia omukoko olia naye akhu eyikina. For example, if you never paid a cow for the brothers to the wife, then they can refuse to give your son ekhoni or esikamo.
Nowadays, failure to comprehend the function of each animal has made people to demand for more dowry or to pay less.
Abanyala paid thirteen heads of cattle and two goats. At any time of paying, the ebiayo had to be of even number. The following are the main ones.
Abanyala paid thirteen heads of cattle and two goats. At any time of paying, the ebiayo had to be of even number. The following are the main ones.
- Eng'ombe ya okhusecha- this was among the first one to be paid. It was a cow for the purpose of having proposed and been accepted. It was equated to one having raided a girl hence had to pay for the raid. On the day of its payment, a goat was slaughtered, a skin strap from its tail taken and tied on the girl. This was the equivalent of the engagement ring. If the girl took off, the skin was 'cured' in a way that it could cause calamity. This skin was called esikhaba.
- Eng'ombe eya yaya-ng'ene- this was given to the brother and perternal cousins to the girl. It was usually a female one. It is from this cow that they will get calf that will give animals to be given as ekhoni.
- Eng'ombe eya ng'ina- this was given as a present to the mother for the great care to the girl. This is what was latter given to the uncles of the girl as eyakhokhang'ene. The brothers to the girl's mother took it.
- Eng'ombe eya simwana- this was given as a present to the brothers of the girl's father for appreciating the communial care given to the daughter. Semwana was the archaic olunyala name for parternal uncle.
- Eng'ombe eya olubere- it was given as payment for having made the breasts of the girl to droop. It was meant to be taken by the mother. This has just been shortened as echia olubeere.
- Eya olukoosi- to show great love to the wife. The bride could refuse to eat, talk, walk and look away from people in some form of bashfulness until this cow was given out.
- Eya embako or eya esiaki for the great work the wife was to do in the home. It was compensetory.
- Eya olubeko- for shaving hair. It was believed the girl was to have her first shaving of pubic hair at the husband's home. Before this, it was burned using a glowing splint.
- Eyikhenga mu chasie- to erase the footprints of the girl. Usually among the first batch to be delivered.
- Eya olubakiro- one of the animals that was picked from the dowry paid and slaughtered for people to eat. Its meat was shared among clan members.
- Eya okhwenda abakhana. A new bride was visited by sisters who stayed for some time to make her acclimatize and become stable in new environment. Upon their departure, this cow was paid.
- Eng'ombe ya etala- this was kept aside for the use by the family during any important community activity. In case the son in law was philanthropic enough, any extra cow paid was counted as eya etala. At times, the in-laws could be called and be given a stick to throw among grazing animals then take those that were within the reach of the stick. This was cleverly done after scattering the cattle. Incase one increases the number here, he has to ensure the total remains an odd number.
- Eng'ombe eya okhusuliana or okhutyera- This was for the brothers who come as revellers after receiving the grandmother's positibe report on their sister's viginity: owusisira
- Ebiayo bilonda ekhwe- These were goats that were used to make the number of ebiayo to be an even number. Some three were mandatory:
- Embusi ya kukhung'ene- the grandmother who picked it together with echabe (now replaced with blankets).
- Embusi ya sengeng'ene- goat was for the aunt who is believed to have educated the girl on issues about marriage life and checked- to correct, if the girl was omukina.
- Embusi chia nasikumunya- any other goats used to make the number even. They remained in the home of the girl's father.
If any payment was made out of the above then they were termed as amaecho. For example, we have men who paid dowry and then added the same number of cattle as those paid as dowry.
9. Those to take the dowry to the home of the girl
They have to come back with the ropes and a chicken. Left handed and those annointed (with omukasa) were not given this responsibility. Also, those born as twins were never given the lead role in dowry negotiation issues. Furthermore, always ensured a child is part of the group to act as future evidance library of the payment.
10. Dowry for nasikoko
A lady who has given birth before getting married, nasikoko, received dowry in two ways. One, from the man who sired the first child and then; secondaly, upon her getting married to the same man or elsewhere. For a girl child, the parents received two head cattle. For a boy child, the parents received three heads of cattle. If the girl gave birth to identical twins, they were counted as one. However, if the twins were a boy and a girl, then he paid five heads which were counted as three. That is why twins were feared out of wedlock.
Upon getting married, the dowry that was paid was less by the same number indicated above which were given by the first 'husband.' For a boy child at home, three cattles were removed from the expected ones. For a girl child, two were removed. For fraternal twins, only three were removed.
10. Dowry for the second wife
The first wife held a special place in the community. Due to this, some of the heads of cattle used to pay dowry came from the father to the boy. However, any attempt to marry a second wife was met with payment made by the man himself without any other person's input.
11. Dowry for a woman who dies at her husband's home before dowry is paid.
The following six animals were paid:
- Eng'ombe ya efumo- if she died while delivering. At times, the number could be increased.
- Eng'ombe ya okhuserera- this was for the purpose of having made a proposal to the girl.
- Eng'ombe ya olubeko- it was given for shaving hair in the man's home.
- Eng'ombe ya esinomundo.
- Engombe ya embako- for the work she had done in the home.
- Eng'ombe ya khocha- given to the brothers to the mother.
However, most instances were met with negotiated deals that reduced the number.
In such unfortunate event, the children completed the dowry payment on behalf of their father- through their paternal uncle. The first born was the one given this responsibility to do it through the patternal uncles. That is why first borns always received a larger share of the father's wealth upon death of their father.
In case, no part of the dowry is paid before burial of husband, then the girl went away at the time they start covering the grave. In case this happens, no attempts are made to stop her.
13. Death of an animal paid as dowry
If an animal paid as part of dowry died immediately after arriving or within few days of arrival, then the people who paid the dowry were informed, the meat was eaten and the skin taken to the in-laws who planned to make a replacement of the cattle.
14. Death of second or third wife who went away without dowry payment
In the event that a wife gets married, gives birth to a child, and goes back to their home where she is burried, then dowry payment is similar to child born out of wedlock. The child born from such woman cannot pay dowry or be paid for dowry untill that of the mother is paid.
15. Other dowry related payments
- Upon the death of the mother-in-law or father-in-law, the son in-law had to give an animal to be slaughtered. Upon slaughtering, the owner is given the hind leg.
- Upon the death of the wife, the husband slaughtered a cattle called eng'ombe ya omunchwe. This gave somebody permit to bury the 'head' of a foreign clan in the home.
- Upon getting satisfied with paid dowry the parents to the girl could pay back one cow called eng'ombe ya omwoulo.
In case of unfortunate circustances provided for by the culture of the people, the dowry was taken back in a ceremonial process called okhuwolola. The heads of cattles given back was usually less by the number of cattles paid as dowry that have served the purose by the time of divorce and usually a maximum of the six out of the thirteen. This untied the woman to make her free to remarry. However, there was no room for okhuwolola once the ceremony of echo has been done.
The clan of the girl was to be involved in getting the animals back. Thus, the parents to the girl could not just start of the process of taking back the dowry.
17. Payment associated with immorality while in marriage.
It was a taboo for a woman to have conjugal duties outside marriage. This phenomenon, which applied to women only, was called okhulia embeba (eating a rat). A woman who had eaten a rat, Nambeba, could not: nurse a sick husband, take water to the bathroom for the husband, move to the graveside of the husband, cry near the husbands dead body (okhuwunya khu munwa), sweep in the main prayer house called namuima and carry the meat basket that is left at the place they have slaughtered a cattle in honour of the husband's funeral rites. It lead to death.
In case of the above, the man involved in the immorality was compelled to pay a young bull which was slaughtered and its meat eaten by the clan of the owner of the wife. It was called eng'ombe ya esirukhi which was never to be domesticated or to mix with others. Neighbours around, wh have never done the same act which another's wife, could also roast and eat. Nobody carried its meat back home.
If the immorality that lead to the payment was done to make the act worth being termed as oluswa, the woman lost the rights to officially burry the husband incase she was the first wife.
18. Taboos related to dowry among Abanyala K
- Cattle showing symptoms of not growing horns was never paid as dowry.
- The ropes used to lead the cattle to the bride's home have to be returned by those who paid the dowry.
- If completion of dowry is done when the wife has children; the children should not eat part of the chicken brought.
- Never lead an animal with a cowbell to be part of the dowry animals. Remove the bell
- Women must never be part of the team leading or releasing the animals.
- Those to lead the animals were to comprise of a child, a neghbour not from the clan, a brother and a brorher or cousin to the grandfather.
- Once the cattle arrived in the home, they were allowed to pass water to indicate that the marriage had been blessed. Failure to pee was interpreted as spelling doom.
- Once the cattle arrive in the new home, follow the cultural traditions of the host people in case there is a clash of culture. However, those bringing bridewealth in your home have to follow your cultural practices. For example, when going to pay dowry in Maragoli, be ready to enter the kraal or house and tie the cow on the peg or bed.
- Children to the woman should never be part of the group taking their mother's or aunt's dowry to their uncle's place.
- Children never directly participated in giving out dowry for their mother. They alway did this through their paternal uncles incase there was need.
- Never eat chicken at the in-laws' before you pay dowry. However, those from the girl's side can eat.
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